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Author: Unknown

'Am I indecisive?' Can I get back to you on that?

 

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'Automatic' simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

 

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'Do you believe in life after death?' the boss asked one of his employees. 'Yes, Sir.' the new recruit replied. 'Well, then, that makes everything just fine,' the boss went on. 'After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.'.

 

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'I'm a lawyer.'.. 'Honest?'.. 'No, the usual kind.'.

 

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'Is ignorance or apathy the biggest problem with the world today?' 'I don't know and I don't care'.

 

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'Just think, children,' said the missionary, 'in Africa there are six million square miles where little boys and girls have no Sunday School. Now, what should we all strive to save money for?''To go to Africa!'.

 

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'LSD melts your mind, not in your hand'.

 

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'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

 

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'There you go, tracking mud all over the house. Didn't I tell you to wipe your feet before you came in!' 'Oh, nobody's blaming you, Mom. You did all you could.'.

 

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'What, giving again?' I asked in dismay. 'And must I keep giving and giving away?' 'Oh, no,' said the angel, piercing me through, 'Just give till the Father stops giving to you.'.

 

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